


The Best Worst Thing

by xmasxray



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, Season 12 spoilers, like all of season 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 19:21:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4191876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xmasxray/pseuds/xmasxray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felix definitely does not have feelings for Tucker, and it definitely doesn't cause him any problems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Best Worst Thing

**Author's Note:**

> I spent four hours writing this starting at one in the morning and I don't really have an explanation other than I heard American Beauty/American Psycho by Fall Out Boy and I was like 'wow this is basically Felix and Tucker.' So yeah that's how this happened.

On a list of things that Felix should definitely _not_ do, falling for a pawn in his plan was pretty fucking high on the list. Especially since he knew he had orders to kill said pawn if it came to it. Well, it’s not like he followed orders much anyway. Locus, on the other hand, there isn’t much he could do about what his partner does.

It probably started early on when he first brought the four to the New Republic. When he finally woke up. “Just take it easy, there’s nothing to worry about… You’re safe, Tucker.”

He only realized that he could be in trouble once the two got back from their first mission together. “Man, you shoulda seen this guy! He was all, ‘I don’t play by the rules.’ Fuckin’ James Bondin’ and shit all over the place, it was crazy!”

“Wait, I thought you were pissed?”

“Oh, do _not_ get me wrong, I wanted to beat your worthless skull into the ground until it was paste. But look where we are now!”

Yeah, Felix. Look where we are now.

It wasn’t on purpose. He wanted to pretend that if it came to it, he’d be able to kill Tucker no problem, just like everyone else on the planet.

That was it, he decided. This wasn’t some stupid emotion for some stupid sim soldier, Felix just wanted the money that would come with finally ending all of this. Tucker just happened to be his main problem.

Problem solved.

And so he went on, telling no lies, but avoiding spilling the full truth. It was simple, just as he’s always done. There’s a reason Felix was considered the best at dealing with people, especially when it came between him and Locus.

The problem with lying to yourself, though, is lying to yourself enough that you believe it to be true. Felix stopped thinking about Tucker in any way other than a way to his paycheck. Teal armor became a talking dollar sign.

Tucker noticed. “Why are you being so hard on us?”

“Come again?”

“All we need is a green light from you, and Kimball lets us save our friends. So why the hell can’t you just lighten up for once?”

And Felix’s repeated lies that had become such a loop in his head that he forgot there were any other thoughts in there came crumbling down around him, as he quickly responded, “because you will _die_.”

The few moments of silence that passed after that seemed an eternity, so he quickly set the loop back on track and corrected himself. “You know, for people who have done so much, you really _are_ just a bunch of idiots, aren’t you?”

“That’s what we said from the start!”

“So why are you still trying to be something you’re not?”

_You’re one to talk._

And so the lies continued.

One night, after he and Tucker had run into each other, prompting a “why are you awake” from both parties, the thought ‘ _I think I fell in love again_ ’ broke through the broken record in his head. Felix immediately crushed that down, chalking it up to his lack of sleep. It was easier that way. It always was.

Tucker flirted with everything that had two legs. Felix knew that. Then why did it seem so _different_ when he flirted with Felix?

It was probably just all in his head.

An overheard “they just, _left_ us” as he walked into a room caused a moment of confusion in the mercenary.

“Who left us?” Followed by a quiet “oh, no” when he realized.

To the others, it likely just seemed that he worried they’d be killed by the Feds. That was reasonable, considering the small amount of truth they know, but it was far, _far_ worse than that.

If Tucker and the others met up with their friends…

He’d have to kill them.

Or Locus would.

The loop crumbled again as he tried to figure out which would hurt more. Felix only had so much glue to fix his own lies. He had no idea how many more times he could build himself up to believe them again.

This time, though, he did something stupid. He didn’t fix them right away. Felix thought about it for a while as he gave a stupid speech to Kimball about why they left, and then told the lieutenants that he’d go after them. Tucker was the only thing on his mind.

And he’d be _damned_ if that didn’t piss him off.

The call he and Locus made with Control bounced around in his head furiously as he drove off to the Federal Army’s base.

“Sir, what if they do manage to make contact.”

“This inquisitive behavior doesn’t suit you, Locus. If the Reds and Blues _manage_ to reunite… Kill them.”

_Could_ Felix kill Tucker? Like actually, really, kill this man he’d grown so infuriatingly fond of? He could kill him, or let everything sort itself out. And if Locus got to him, well, then at least it wasn’t Felix.

The loop of _Tucker is a paycheck_. Turned into _Tucker is a paycheck, and his life is threatening it._

Monetary value of a situation was always a priority to Felix, after all.

He finally arrived, charging in to jump in front of a bullet, shielding Tucker from getting hit.

_Tucker is a paycheck, and his life is threatening it._

“Tucker! Grenade!”

“Oh, right!” Trusting as ever, Tucker threw the grenade to Felix.

He could feel something stirring again, so he repeated it again, louder this time.

_Tucker is a paycheck, and his life is threatening it._

“Ah, that was _close_! Nice throw, Tucker.” Felix chuckled, holding the grenade above his head.

“ _Felix_?”

You didn’t betray him, Felix, there’s no need for him to sound so heartbroken. You never told him a lie, you just took the full truth and poured some out. No harm in that.

Except this time, it could-

_Tucker is a paycheck, and his life is threatening it._ Right.

Wash finally speaks. “Felix, what are you doing?”

“Just helping out an old acquaintance.” That’s _one_ way to word it.

“Are you done?” Locus always did get irritated when Felix got like this.

“Not even close.” If he kept talking, he could reason with himself as to why this was okay, it all made sense. _Tucker is a paycheck, and his life is threatening it._

“This doesn’t make sense! That’s Locus, your enemy!”

He never told Tucker that, there’s no reason for the lie to sting somewhere in his chest. “Riiight, and _I’m_ the charismatic mercenary with a gruff exterior, but a heart of gold. A little too... _romantic_ , don’t you think.”

Perhaps that was going too far, but it was best if he just got everything over with here. Let Tucker know anything he had for him was out of pity. Nothing more, nothing less. The only lie he’d tell, even though he hadn’t even said it. Crush him, ignoring how badly it hurt himself, and then kill him.

_Tucker is a paycheck, and his life is threatening it._

“But you’re supposed to hate each other!” Simmons is supposed to be the smart one, isn’t he? This shouldn’t be that hard to figure out.

Though, Felix decides, this is a great way to rub everything in Tucker’s face. Make it easier still. “Oh, we do. After all, you should _never_ mix friends with business.” He made a point to look at the other, because that’s all Tucker ever was. Business. You shouldn’t mix friends with business, and you definitely shouldn’t mix anything more than that with it either.

“Wrap it up.” Locus was getting irritated, but Felix was just getting started.

“But we just work so _well_ together.” That one was likely less subtle, but he didn’t care. He needed to get his point across.

He continues to go on and on about nothing, until Locus finally put an end to it. Locus prepares to kill them, and Felix raises his gun, pointing it at Tucker. Getting it over with himself, he decided, was better than someone else doing it for him.

Then that _Freelancer_ had to go and mess everything up. He’d managed to wound her, but they got away.

The only thing Locus had to say about that: “call Control.”

Felix’s habit of monologuing in dire situations had naturally gotten him into trouble again. This time, it wasn’t just with Control, or with Locus. This time, Felix had totally screwed _himself_ over.

He couldn’t lie about it anymore. He knew damn well that he somehow managed to fall head over heels with Lavernius Tucker, but that kind of thing didn’t suit him. He’d learned that in the past.

Looks like the lesson wouldn’t ever stick.

There wasn’t any way this would work out. He knew that. There were no roads that could lead to anything between the two. Not in this universe.

Hope is one thing Felix hates more than anything, because it has always, _always_ made everything worse in the end.

He passes the time thinking about where things went wrong for him. The problem with that was deciding whether it was deciding he did love Tucker, or denying it. It had to be the decision, because he wouldn’t be staying up so late at night pondering these things if he just stuck to what he’s best at: bending the truth.

Felix is a great actor, amazing at fooling others, allowing them to perceive them as he wants them too. He’s always been a _terrible_ liar. Have him bend the truth, easy. Leave out some minor (or major) details from something so he can get what he needs? Piece of cake. Lie? Not so much.

So why he thought he could lie to himself was a mystery.

When Control proposed the idea that Locus and Felix offer the Reds and Blues a way out, Felix was thrilled that maybe Tucker could at least make it out of there alive. He put on a good act of protesting until Locus told him to shut up, they had to make the offer. After all, it would be easier to ship them off somewhere rather than have them get involved again.

When the two transmitted to the group’s radios, Felix let Locus do all the talking for once.

The offer was made, and everyone was still suspicious, rightly so.

Washington posed the question “how are we supposed to know you won’t shoot us the second we arrive?”

“Well, you can’t. But, if it makes you feel any better, this wasn’t our idea.” Felix took this opportunity to say, yet again, how much he wanted them all - Tucker included - dead. He probably needed to find a new way of dealing with things, but for now, this would have to work. “Trust me. I’m _really_ hoping you’re dumb enough to turn this offer down.”

“You have one hour to make your decision.” Locus said, shutting off his transmitter.

“Hope you make the right one!” While his tone said something completely different than what he meant, there was nothing missing from that statement. It was the full truth, nothing but it.

There. Now he had done his best. He’d given the other an out. There was no need to feel any remorse for any of his actions again. If Tucker and his friends made the wrong choice, well, then there wasn’t anything he could do about it.

That thought is what let Felix forget about the stupid soldier in the stupid teal armor for a while. Who needs him anyway?

The circle of lies ceased, and became one of bent truths, Felix’s specialty.

_I did what I could, this isn’t my fault. A wrong decision in war means death, and that’s just how it is._

That he could believe, and he did.

“Time’s almost up.”

Locus called in to see if they had chosen to take the out, but of course they didn’t.

Whatever, they tried.

Once the fighting started, he cleared his head and focused on what needed done. Felix had no problem fighting off Washington and Carolina. They really _had_ gotten on his nerves, anyway. Carolina was knocked away far enough that she’d no longer be a problem, and he was ready to take down Washington next. Locus, however, had other plans.

“Take care of the simulation troopers, I have this under control.”

“Right.” He nodded and headed off. _That_ might pose more of a challenge.

_I did what I could, this isn’t my fault. A wrong decision in war means death, and that’s just how it is._

Right. With that thought in mind, nothing could stop him from ending this, whatever it was. He wasn’t sure what exactly he wanted to end. The war, his time on Chorus, or the whole thing with Tucker. It was best to pretend it was just the first two. Get it over with, get paid. Simple enough.

“Come on guys, let’s not drag this on any longer than we have to.”

“Sounds good to me!” Naturally it had to be Tucker, with his stupid energy sword. The odds, it seemed, were never in Felix’s favor.

“Oh, you are _not_! Seriously? You’re gonna go with the sword? Oh, oh no, okay, alright.” He chuckled. Best to keep up the act he’s had to put on.

“Why, are you scared?”

_No, asshole, I wanted you to leave._ “Oh, this is gonna be _fun_.” If there is one thing Felix is good at, it’s pushing all the right buttons to make someone weaker. “For god sake man, loosen up. You gotta get _limber_.”

“How did you convince Kimball to go to the Capitol?”

Oh, so it was going to be like _that_ , then. Tucker was just going to keep the subject strictly business. Not surprising, really. That’s what he himself had been doing.

He just explained how he’d simply told a sob story and put on an easy act. It wasn’t difficult for him to convince anyone to do anything.

“So how long have you and Locus been working together?”

_Jealous, are we?_ “I’m sorry, I thought we were gonna be _fighting_ here.”

Tucker lunged forward, but Felix was able to strike him in the back. He bowed when the other turned back around. “Round one, Felix.”

“God, you’re a fucking tool.”

It was better this way, he figured. If he made Tucker hate him instead of the alternative, this wouldn’t be as bad. Besides, _I did what I could, this isn’t my fault. A wrong decision in war means death, and that’s just how it is._

“Ow, you dick!” Tucker shouts when Felix lands another blow.

“God, I just really want to savor this,” it hurts, knowing that Tucker is probably even more messed up about this than he is, but Felix ignores it. He follows that up with another rant about how he had no idea what he’d do after everyone killed each other, blah, blah, blah, None of it mattered, anyway.

“Keep talkin’, asshole.”

“Well, the thing about that is,” he wanted to follow that up with something about how this was Tucker’s fault. Well, no, he really wanted to follow it up with ‘ _I wish I cared about you, but I only cared about the money you’ll bring me_ ,’ but that wasn’t a good idea. Terrible liar, remember? However, before he could even finish the sentence - no matter how he’d have done it - he realizes something. “Oh, you’d like that wouldn’t you? You know, I just realized I haven’t seen your pals in a while. I wonder if they’re trying to get the jump on me.”

Felix turns and shoots a bomb at them, and Tucker runs right at him. “No!”

_This is it._ He turns and stabs the other in the stomach. “That’s the last time you try to outsmart me, Captain Tucker.”

It’s best to ignore who the blood on his knife belongs to. To ignore the body on the ground in front of him. _I did what I could, this isn’t my fault. A wrong decision in war means death, and that’s just how it is._

“You still don’t get it, do you? The entire reason you _sim troopers_ were _allowed_ to live this long is because you’re all _losers_.” He continues on, describing how they were expected to fit into their plan, and how well they actually did. “At the end of the day, if I am stronger than you, and if I am faster than you, then I can _kill_ you. And that’s better than anything money can buy.”

He was ready to finally end it, now, pointing his pistol at Tucker’s head. This was it, he’d get this over with, finish up everything on Chorus, get his paycheck, then be on his way. It’s like nothing ever happened. That’s the way he likes things.

“I don’t know man, I think I’d rather be rich than a fucking nutjob. What do you think, _Church_?”

“Yeah, this guy’s got no idea what he’s talking about.”

“What the- what the fuck is this?” Felix lowered his pistol and stared at the AI.

Before he knew it, everything he’d said to Tucker was transmitted to the entire Capitol.

“Whoa, dude, are you speechless? That’s a first.”

“ _You_. You’re _dead_.” Felix raised his pistol again. He’d gone too far, again. He’s had enough of feelings getting in the way. Never again.

“The mission was a failure. Protocol states we are to report to Control immediately.” Locus says, standing behind him.

“They’re injured. We can kill them, _now_.” _Please. Just let me end this._

“No. We follow orders. Let me assure you all, this is _not_ over.” Locus uses a teleportation cube and they make their getaway, leaving a wounded Tucker on the ground.

_We’re the things that love destroys._

Felix could just hope that he had killed Tucker. It would make things easier. Clear his mind. However, not knowing would hardly leave his mind at ease. If he were still alive, Felix knew he must have really messed with Tucker. Hopefully he’d have been a good enough actor to not let the other know he’d been affected too.

Either way, Locus was not wrong.

This wasn’t over.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I didn't even ship this going into it but now, who knows anymore, I'm such trash.


End file.
